make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
this boner is exhausting
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
