never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
