So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
