Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it was like eating out sand paper
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
