apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
