I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
