i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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