She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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