Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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