I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
