Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
