There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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