Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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