he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The air taste purple.
Randomize
