Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
