Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
