for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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