I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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