He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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