my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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