help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
