No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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