Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
