she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
