I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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