So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
