Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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