If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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