We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
