i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
