no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
