Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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