Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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