his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
