there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
