why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
