I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
