It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
