so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
