Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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