i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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