HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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