My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
