oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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