you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
