So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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