he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
