Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
