Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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