Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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