i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
