I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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