there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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