This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
