She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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