did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
