Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
