If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
