and i looked up. we had an audience...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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