You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
