I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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